Archive for January 7th, 2008

I did not make this site, and I don’t know who did.


Yes, I think it is funny. No, I don’t know how to photoshop or otherwise make images like this one.


No, I have not posted as Eric on any website, ever.

Yes, I am honored that out of all the countless people that don’t like Eric, he thinks I would be the one to make this parody site.

In fact, he seems to see me behind every bush and hiding around every corner. Good!

(The friggin’ idiot even thinks I am Mike Nelson. LOL!)

No, I do not have a Russian mob hit out on me. If I did I would already be dead.

Yes, I do have members of my extended family who some people think are “Russian mob,” which is not necessarily an accurate description, and yes, I helped them set up their business in America.

No, I am not involved in their business anymore, and have not been in years. No, I don’t condone all of their activities.

Yes, they have offered to put me back to work and help take care of any problems I have.

Yes, I do have a well-armed, combat-trained killer, ex-law enforcement, who has specifically threatened to kill me and feed my corpse to his dogs for holding antiwar views and making fun of him at Hammer of Truth in 2006. Yes, he has also bragged about being on the terrorist watch list for beating up an antiwar protester in Colorado Springs.

Yes, my aforementioned relatives have been made aware of this situation and Eric’s role in using my real full name repeatedly on the internet after being asked to stop.

Yes, they will hold Eric partially responsible if anything happens to me.

No, I can’t do anything about it.

I wanted this to be publicly available in print in case anything happens to me.

Now go ahead Eric and dig my grave some more. Be careful you don’t fall in. This is not a threat and it’s not a promise.

If I get killed call your wife and tell her to get out of the house, never come back and never see you again. She is completely innocent in your actions and I hope she does not get hurt because of you.

It’s bad enough you might be bringing her home sexually transmitted diseases from the women you have had sex with that she does not know about, like Deer Lodge, MT, Oregon, and Juanita from TJ. But this would be way worse.

I’m drunk and in a funk, so I have some more shit to get off my chest. This message brought to you by Hennessy Cognac, caffeine pills and Morgan Creek Vineyards Blush.

No, I have not always been a good person. I am an addict and this has manifested itself in drugs, alcohol, gambling, prostitutes, graffiti, internet addiction, porn, fighting, arguing, and stuffing my fat face, among other things.

Yes, my gambling addiction did cause me to “lose” $80,000 in a crooked card game in 1990. I didn’t pay, but I moved out of NYC. No, I don’t gamble anymore. No, I’m not afraid of those guys coming after me all these years later. They have barely been outside their own neighborhood much less NYC. No, they are not Russian.

Addiction and Detachment
~author unknown

I did it to myself. It wasn’t society – it wasn’t a pusher, it wasn’t being blind or being black or being poor. It was all my doing.
~ Ray Charles ~

In our society, we tend to look at addiction from a very limited point of view. We judge people to be addicts if they are “hooked” on drugs, alcohol, food, sex, smoking, exercise, gambling, shopping and/or work. Better said, addiction is any habitual psychological and/or physiological dependence on a substance, thought, practice or behavior that one cannot intentionally control. For example:

If you can’t stop arguing with the people you love, you’re addicted to your opinions, judgment and being right.
If you can’t end your self-deprecating internal dialogue, you’re addicted to self-hate.
If you can’t forgive those you are angry with, you’re addicted to resentment.
If you can’t cease making a big deal out of everything, you’re addicted to drama.
If you can’t discontinue your need to make yourself better than others, you’re addicted to pride.

My friend shared this about his personal experience with addiction.

“In the beginning I was told and believed, that addiction was not just a diagnosis; it was a definition that came immediately after my name. I learned that I needed to ask forgiveness from all those I had harmed. What I wasn’t taught was to forgive myself. Someone had to be wrong, and I was the one on trial. There was no forgiveness in that scenario.”
“Forgiveness was the answer, but not coming from my self-judgment and guilt. Once I took responsibility for my actions without judgment, I forgave because I wanted to free myself from suffering and guilt as a gift of self-love and respect. Bottom line: Unconditional love is not given out of guilt and fear of judgment – and true forgiveness is love in action.”

Taking responsibility for our addiction to the human mind and the things that it tells us to do is a powerful action. For example, instead of saying we are addicted to substances or behaviors, we can say we are addicted to the commands the mind is giving us to hurt ourselves with those substances or behaviors. No matter what kinds of addictions we have been engaged in, all of us deserve forgiveness for not having the awareness that we are Spirit using the mind that is thinking.

No, I have not always been a good person. I have lied, stolen, cheated, swindled, literally beaten the shit out of people, just about every bad thing you can think of I have done.
No, I am not proud of doing these things. No, I don’t have a time machine. I apologize to everyone that my deeds as well as my words have hurt.

Yes, I have had my ass kicked until it bled before. No, I didn’t like it.

Yes, I am trying to be a better person and make a positive change in this world. You want to hold my past against me and keep bad things I have done in the past from letting me do good things in the future? I can’t do anything about this, but it is your loss just as much as mine.

No, I am not that afraid, really. I love life, but I have laid down and accepted death before. Death is just transformation. I don’t believe we really die. If I am supposed to die soon, so be it.

No, I am not perfectly enlightened, as you can see I still have much work ahead in seeking redemption.


Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: