The NSGOP Primary Field in Buffy Villains

post by Paulie

I came across this because someone in the comments linked my post
Gouliani or Nosferatu: we report, you decide.

I don’t watch Buffy, so I can speak about the accuracy of their comparisons. But they seem like they should be funny.

I copied their source code but the side by sides for their candidates and ghouls did not line up correctly here in some cases. Played around with the HTML a bit but couldn’t find a way to fix it. If anyone wants to look at the source and figure out the problem email me, kubby2008 at gmail.com. Thanks,

-Paul

Shortly after doing my first video blog post in werewolf form, I came up with a guide to the GOP primary field, expressed in terms of the Buffy villains they most resemble.

Fred Thompson

The Judge
His backers got all excited and made a big effort to assemble him.  When they finally put him together, he turned out to be a lethargic mess and didn’t accomplish very much.

Mitt Romney

The Mayor
They’re both clever and generically slick politicians, programmed to
appeal to middle America.  I can’t watch Mitt without thinking of the
Demon Mayor of Sunnydale, and that’s what inspired this whole list.

 

John McCain

The Master
The oldest vampire.  Got killed early, but there’s some talk about how he might rise again.

 

Ron Paul

Moloch the Corruptor

He’s been around a long time, but he only
recently absorbed himself into the internet, where he now has a bunch
of overexcited followers who spend too much time online. 

(Paul:) Hey, I resemble that remark!

 

Duncan Hunter  
 

Adam

Property of the military-industrial complex.

 

Tom Tancredo

Lyle Gorch
Giles: "They, uh, they made their reputation by massacring an entire Mexican village in 1886… but the good news is that they’re not amongst the great thinkers of our times. I doubt if they’re up to much.

 

Rudy Giuliani


Angelus
A genuine threat to destroy the world, with a string of broken hearts behind him. 

 

Mike Huckabee

Caleb
Southern preacher-man.  Bad on women’s rights.  Came on really strong at the end.

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