Followup on site improvements

A few weeks ago I asked what we can do to improve Last Free Voice and a number of you responded.

Here’s what we have done so far.

• LFV radio is in the works.

Hope to have more on this soon. No word yet on video blogs (LFV-TV?).

• I’ve now been made an admin. Added several new people.
• Ian Conrad and Jason Gatties have already started posting here, although they are not yet on the About LFV page.
• Dick Clark and Alex Peak, the top organizers of the two most active libertarian campus clubs in recent years (Auburn and Towson), have also asked to be added as writers here, although they haven’t posted anything yet (my apologies if this was supposed to be a surprise). Dick was also past chairman of the Alabama LP.
• Chris Hickman also expressed a willingness to write here in the comments, so I added him.
• I don’t remember whether G. E. Smith has agreed to be added or not, but he was nominated, so I added a profile for him. I guess we’ll see.

GreginOz suggested we add foreign correspondents, so I’ve added him as, possibly, the first. An email exchange followed. You can read it after the jump, unless Greg objects, in which case I’ll delete it.

Greg: That’ s GreginOz to you, punk! A CAPITAL ‘O’ coz some dweeb on a porno site has started using ‘Greginoz’, jeez, did I cop shit from my girl…Soooooo, who the fuck are ya, anyway?

Me: Who are you calling a punk, hippie? It’s your web bud paulie, LOL. I thought you knew.

Far be it from me to get caught up in capitalization issues. I have more than enough shit on my plate already.

Imagine the nerve! If my name was Ron Jeremy, would I be pissed about it? Hell, no, I’d figure out a way to get some naive pussy out of it somehow. Yes, I know, it looks bigger in the movies, but oh well, we’re already here, so we might as well…(the rest of me looks similar enough, I could probably make it work. Hmmm, maybe I should change my name).

I fixed it for you this once, and I expect quality foreign reporting from our first foreign correspondent, and no more bitching and nitpicking, or I’ll cut your pay in half.

That’s right. Zero pay is bad enough, but….half of zero! You wouldn’t like that, would you?

So keep your ozzie arse in line and dance on the keyboard for us, monkey, dance! The people of the Empire demand entertaining news from the provinces, hinterlands, countries “we” have invaded and those “we” have yet to invade (speaking of which, are there any of those left?).

“We” are not amused by bloody foreigners from down under who don’t know their place and demand to be addressed with proper capitalization. Keep that shit up, and “we” will send a US morones corp regiment to get you back down where you belong.

That and you’ll get a fucking all expenses paid vacation to an alligator farm in Florida, capice?

For your first writing assignment; we would like a hard hitting expose of your government covering up for a corporation to sneakily take revenge on your imperial overlords. For example,

Fosters: Australian for piss, mate?

If you can’t dig up any dirt on them, try to get a picture of Rupert Murdoch and Karl Rove having sex with each other, or something. We expect a big splash.

-p

Greg: … First article. Given Libertarianism IS Economics, today we examine Economic Models using Cows.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you
with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy….

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

= Disclaimer: GreginOz did not write this but he did spray coffee all over his desk on reading it. How cool is it that my 70 year old mater sent it to me? Regards from GreginOz.

Paul: Greg,

1) Don’t email me articles. Go to Last Free Voice, log in, and go to “Write”.

2) I wouldn’t recommend making this an article. It’s a forward that gets passed around the internet all the time.

The reason I added you was that you said we should cover other countries more, so I’m giving you a chance to do that.

Maybe if you take this forward, and embed links for news stories which demonstrate the differences between these systems, (EG: something from France that illustrates the [above], something from Japan, etc.) and maybe a few comments and observations of your own?

So there we have it folks, for whatever it’s worth….