Third-party candidates take to the Web
They don’t have a chance in hell, but they’ve got awesome MySpace pagesBy Helen A.S. Popkin & Guest Avatar Ree Hines
MSNBC contributorsUpdated: 6:56 p.m. ET June 21, 2007What Third Party candidates lack in funds, MySpace friends and a snow ball’s chance in Hades, they more than make up for in heart on their MySpace profiles. Well, not really.You’re welcome to vote for a third party candidate, but as “Simpsons” space alien Kang quipped “Go ahead, throw your vote away!”
Still, from the Green Party and the Libertarians to the Vampires, Witches, and Pagan Party, outside candidates understand the importance of a good MySpace profile, even if they don’t all manage to make one.
Here’s their review of the Libertarian candidates on MySpace:
George Phillies (Libertarian)
“George Phillies, Libertarian Candidate for President”
Age: 59
Star sign: Leo
Friend count: 791 (Including “Jack Tripper, and Green Day!)
Comments: 57Best comment: “Thanks for the add!” – Mike Gravel
Interests: Books: (“I’ve written eight … ) and heroes (Josiah Willard Gibbs)
Other social network memberships:
Yahoo GroupsThis free MySpace page, with its default layout with obligatory American flag graphics, was “paid for by Phillies 2008.” In yet another blatant abuse of the “interest” fields, George includes videos, debate audios and a plug for his books. The site previously featured a lively a cappella Libertarian anthem, “Get Out.” But last time we checked, it was “deleted by the artist.”
Helen: What’s with George’s Grandpa glamour shot? The big plastic glasses are endearing, but the off-white windbreaker is too much. Put on a tie for criminy’s sake! You’re running for president!
Ree: Under the “children” field he’s written “someday.” Dude! You’re 59! And you ain’t no Tony Randall. Further, the only personal tidbit we get is his hero, Josiah Willard Gibbs, a theoretical physicist and chemist. George is out for the brainiac vote.
Steve Kubby (Libertarian Party)
“Let Freedom Grow!”
Age: 60
Star sign: Capricorn
Friend count: 4,564
Comments: 168Best comment: Tokin’, drinkin’ pot leaf graphic that says: “Just stopped by to say high” — Rev. Cannabis Connoisseur
Interests: Books about pot.
Other social network memberships:
NonePossibly even more garish than Elaine Brown’s MySpace page, Steve Kubby’s profile also suffers from an intense background (this one blue) and a non-sequiturous array of changing font sizes and colors. Seriously, stare at this site for one minute and look away. You’ll still be seeing it three days later. Bob Marley’s “One Love” loads with the site.
Helen: Dang, who built this site? Jeff Spicoli? P.S. Steve’s “Daily Show” clip is totally handicammed straight from the TV screen, bootleg-movie style.
Ree: Steve’s statement that, “This is no more about marijuana than the Boston Tea Party was about tea” is somewhat compromised by the photo of a big hairy bud that follows it. Not to mention that photo of Steve in the universally understood “take a toke” pose. And the Bob Marley music. You know, I’m beginning to suspect this is entirely about pot.
Wayne Allen Root (Libertarian Party)
“Root for America 2008″
Age: 43
Star sign: Cancer
Friend count: 64
Comments: 4Best comment: We don’t know as we can’t read them.
Interests: None listed.
Other social network memberships:
NonePerhaps misunderstanding the statement, “transparent candidate,” Wayne Allen Root’s profile challenges the optical nerve of the American with an image of Old Glory bleeding over his entire content. This includes portrait, videos and red text boxes with white font.
Helen: Is it me, or does this dude look just like Marjoe Gortner?
Ree: All I know is that Wayne’s “W.A.R. Story” (get it?) states that he is not only “the most prolific and recognized sports oddsmaker/prognosticator in American television history,” he “has morphed into high profile CEO and entrepreneur, self-made millionaire, best-selling author, TV celebrity, and Libertarian Presidential candidate.” With all that juice, why not hook up a better MySpace profile?
If you want to see their smartass comments about other third party candidates (and some of them are pretty funny, I’ll admit) here’s the article in its entirety.
Hat tip Jake Porter
Less
aynrkey
bostonteapartygoer
Kenn Jacobine
mattdharris
Mike Seebeck
Miche
paulie
Jim Davidson
ponggod
Stuart Richards
Steven Greffenius
Todd Andrew Barnett
Hey, at least they spelled my candidate’s name right! Poor Wayne can’t catch a break.
“Seriously, stare at this site for one minute and look away. You’ll still be seeing it three days later.”
They write that like it’s a bad thing. Most candidates would be ecstatic to have any significant percentage of their profile visitors remembering them three MINUTES later.
It remains to be seen how useful MySpace can be to a campaign.
The “friend list” bit isn’t a big benefit. Friend lists are so inflated that bulletins to one’s MySpace friends are unlikely to be read — they drown in a sea of spam and the connection is extremely tenuous (a matter of a costless click without consequences) anyway. And I say that as the guy whose candidate easily excels the other candidates this article covers in “friend numbers.”
The campaign GROUPS have proven to be of some use, at least. We recruited some of our state coordinators via the campaign’s MySpace group, and I’m pretty sure that that was also where I located our first “major donor” — $700 to finance last fall’s Colorado campaign trip, and then later he maxed out.
The groups take a little more work to join than doing a “friend add” does, and they indicate some real interest in the subject instead of just the desire to add one more to one’s “friend” total.
Did I mention that Kubby’s MySpace campaign group has 910 members? Or that John Edwards’s has … 911?
Wow, I found your link to the MSNBC madness after I compiled my own analysis of some of these guys and gals. Oh well. I will say that Wayne is the slickest thing out there: I heard him on a podcast earlier and it was like listening to an infomercial. Of course, he does those too.
If you’re interested, click my name and check out my Preview. Many, many more nutcases out there.
I wanted to thank you for your post on the Preview. Lots of good info there, I may have to add a review for All-Time Independent All-Stars. You’ll definitely get linked to. I’m checking out St. Michael now…
lol, I can’t put him in because he claims to be a Republican. His time shall come however.